storyofabeck

Lunch

2010-04-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

I just went out to lunch with a lovely girl, who i normally only see when a) it's nighttime, and b) she or i is drunk. So it was a nice surprise when she actually wanted to go to lunch and extend the friendship outside drinking hours!

It's hard to explain, but before i actually knew her i had seen her and her group around. They are all very beautiful, almost as if there was criteria before joining the group. I kind of had a fasination with their group, and when i was introduced to them i was pretty excited to discover that they are all super lovely! They are very welcoming and it's nice to hang out with a new group!

Anyway, yes i had lunch with one of the ones i havent really met up with before so it was really nice, and she loves to talk haha! So heres to broading friendship groups! (Although i can only deal with this group in small doses, as shoes seem to take priority over intelligence for some of them).

Until next time,

B.

Babies

2010-04-20T03:06:00.000-07:00

Trevor- really nice, not quite, he talked alot! Has a sense of humour just like Anna. If i made a funny joke, or a crude one :P they would both laugh. Hopefully he will look after Anna, they seem so happy together. As for little baby Caleb...It is such a weird experience. I mean, it's not like Anna's brother who she can hand over to her mum when she is tired, this is HER baby. No one can force her to bring up her son any other way then what she wants. It's so amazing.

Family

2010-03-05T00:08:00.000-08:00

Taking your family for granted when you think about it is quite a dangerous thing to do. I love my family, but when you get caught up in the everyday, you might not realise that you didn't see a member of your family that day, or your harsh words may have hurt them more than you realised.

I do realise how lucky i am to have my family. And when they come home safely when they go out i am always grateful and relieved. It makes me wonder why i am ever rude to my family. I mean we see horrors in the news everyday about the death of children, of parents in natural and man made disasters.

From now on i will try to make more of an effort with them. We will all die oneday and we hope that it will be a while until that time comes for our family...but i would hate to think ''i didnt make enough of an effort'' if something happened to them or me. You have to try.

Because they are your ready made army to face the world.

2010-01-18T06:49:00.000-08:00

I went to the Netherlands a few weeks ago. It feels like ages ago. I went to stay with my friend Robin, and it's only really now that i realise just how lucky and how much she did for me. She is coming to sydney in march so i will have to pull all stops for her. She took me to the Dom and we got to climb the 467 stairs to the top and go to the bell tower. I met i nice friend of hers called Ruben, who i went salsa dancing with and to a beer cafe. I went clubbing in Holland next to a snow covered canal and bike to and from the club. Sixteen year olds were allowed in the clubs! I think people there must feel old when they are 19 :P

Im hopefully going to Zurich next week, if Flavio actually replies to whether i can stay with him or not! He told me he would be mad if i didnt come though, haha.

Becky

Goodbye, Hello.

2009-12-31T11:46:00.000-08:00

In the dwindling hours of the first decade in the 21st century, it's hard not to look back, and to also look forward. Ten years ago. I know the world was different, but i was only 10 and didnt really pay attention to the technologies etc. I suppose in 10 more years i will remember 2009-2010 NY much better then 2000. And with that, i will also note more readily what changed. I dont like thinking too much about 10 years time, but it''s moments like this that make it hard not to. So, cheers 2009, i liked you. You represented so much bloody change in my life. You brought me together with people, and you tore me away from them. Without 2009 and exchange i wouldnt be going to Holland next week. Without 2009 i wouldnt be as wise, yet also i am still the same as i was last year. I need to remember that just because you have more experience when you are older doesnt mean i was that different 10 years ago. I hope for one main thing in 2010. Love.

End of a decade.

2009-12-24T15:36:00.000-08:00

I don't think this post will be a reflection on the past decade, otherwise i would explode from the nostalgia. Currently, i feel like i dont have an skills. I not only want, i need, to get better at sailing and photography. I need to. I need to learn another language, so there is something that I myself am good at. A hobby, a release from life when it gets too mundane, too worrisome, to stop me from over-analyzing everything. I need to start. What did i learn in psych, that you need 10 yrs to become an expert. I need to work on that.

I have to call Bill and Pat, correction i NEED to, in february. I need to. I need to go to do an internship somewhere, i think in America. I need to read more. Passion grows out of an interest for something, it isnt something you are necessarily born with. I need to remember that. Seriously.

p.s effects of the keyboard-remember for yr 4.

On to my life. It has being way to hectic, in a strangly lovely way. Driving gives me so much freedom, and i love that fact that i can do more things that went on hold during the term. I still feel trapped though, i really need to meet more Australians, not just focus on people like Hermann and Sanna who are going home soon. Its so depressing because i feel like they are more real then any of my Australian friends. Fuck that. Maybe i should list what ive been doing? Avatar with the Germans-so good. I love Germans, oops there i go again. But seriously they are always on time, always up for a laugh and love doing things properly. Ive been...oh dear what have i been doing? Ive been going to peoples house sittings and watching movies, going to lunches and breakfasts, zoos, nights out. So much. Pity i cant remember the exact details :( Last night was xmas eve, and i went to greengate this hotel up north. Aside from L getting ridiculously drunk, it was a lovely night full of sleezy men and drunk friends :P I was sober so i kind of knew they were drunk but i didnt at the same time; i guess i didnt know the extent of how drunk they were.

Haha polly is sitting at my feet, gotta love that dog.

Ciao for now, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

LOVE B.

An Amazing Night

2009-12-14T15:58:00.000-08:00

Last night was simply amazing. I had the best time. I just, i just haven't been that excited to go out as i was last night! Normally i just go out because i feel like i should go out, but last night i was so excited, and i got to spend the night with my German friends and Will, and some friends of friends.

We went to Scubar, and straight up it had loads of atmosphere. There were crab races!! Not to mention the 9 dollar cocktails(i nearly died though haha). It was so much fun hanging out with Hermann, it was hilarious (baby hands, face, ''sleep becky'', you australians!) And i also met some nice guys, and saw my stalker! not so good. Plus i lost my phone which sucks! Jonas was hilarious too and we left him at the club to pick up..or something. But yeh, it was nice to kinda be close to some guys again, and isnt it funny that the night i feel the best i meet amazing people?? haha!

Anyway i also got my Ps YAY NO MORE DRIVING LESSONS!

Film and Zoos

2009-12-07T01:06:00.000-08:00

Today i went to this beach with my Mum, and we had fish and chips, and a lovely walk :) I feel like ever since i turned 17 two years ago, she has acted so much more differently towards me. Still a parent, but definitely more friend then she was when i was a child. I guess 17 must have been the age when she started to have stronger memories, and so she feels like i must have been really growing up then.

I also got some film developed today! I few good photos, including this one of my sister and my neighbour:

Yesterday i went to the Zoo with my friend James, and we both brought our respective cameras. He got his fancy canon camera, i had my film camera and i also brought the Digital just in case. Guess which one lasted the day? Yep, the digital camera! Gargh. Film camera stuffed up when i was going to change rolls, James canon ran out of batteries and the little digital survived through the day! A bird pooed on me and James said it was good luck! So i guess that manifested in the fact that my film role doesn't seem to have being ruined!

My feet were honestly dead by the end of the day though, and i also turned into crankybeck. I also was feeling a little hollow today, not entirely sure how to solve that one.

The Holidays

2009-12-04T03:42:00.000-08:00

As it is now december, i have alot more time to dictate when and where i do things, and with whom. I'm not one for burning bridges; hell, i'm not one for leaving these metaphorical bridges stagnant. I love, and i have a desire to maintain most friendships. However, on occassion, i just don't want to. The past few days have lead me into that frame of thought, and now i'm regreting a few decisions. People keep saying i'm too nice though, maybe i am. Only to some people though; only if they deserve to be treated well (Which is obviously most people).

Sigh, anyway. Yesterday my friend Maryanne was up from Canberra, and i bought us a bottle of white. I was dropped off near her house, and we went to a really nice Indian Restaurant called ''Indian Palace'''' (although i had stomach cramps after...urgh). We drunk good wine, and had good food. We then wandered to the video store and i saw this girl called Amber who used to work for my Dad. Irrelevant tit-bit. We borrowed Priceless, something about rock and a boat (comedy), and the Ring. We watched the ring first. Now bare in mind, the last time i saw this was the year it came out, and i was 13. I got so terrified i left halfway through the bloody film. Six years on, and having seen so many parodies, it really wasn''t that bad. In fact, a bit lame. But ok, i still got a tad scared. As in i never watched the whole ''tape'' at once. After we watched the boat one which was funny, and then had a restful night.

The next morning we watched Priceless, who has this AMAZING french guy in it who is really funny, a bit awkward, and a whole lot of real. I've seen him in some other french comedies, very funny actor. Or at least picks his films well :P. Maryanne dropped me back at mine, and i went to work at my Dad''s till 5. I almost died of boredness. Update, i am so tired right now, but i know by the time i go to bed i wont be. Sigh.

So that was a really great night, even though i was asked on two counts to go out to the city/ North Sydney, it was way way nicer. Sometimes you just don''t want to dress up. haha and Lauren knocked over the bin! Silly girl; everyone looked!

Tonight i went to my local shops with some friends for some good wine and good food at the new restaurant in our little community. Highly enjoyable, and i got a lift home too! Yay! Well that's it for now. I''m sure i have lots of revelations but thats it for now.

pointy form

2009-11-29T20:28:00.000-08:00

I''m feeling kind of down about something, so i don't feel like writing in detail about this weekend. Pretty much, the majority of it was amazing. I''m just writing down the events that happened so i don''t forget.

-Emma''s 20th birthday at Thai Cusine, and the Hunters Hill Hotel
-Stopped again and asked if an actress <3
-Picking up Maddy at her party and going in
-Spider web i walked into and looked like a fool dancing around trying to get it off :P

-Hair cut (toooo shorty)
-Driving lesson
-Michelles and Johnathans-got to see Ash, Ben, Jamie, Nicole :)
- Warwicks 21st. What an amazing location. It was all old english style/pub look, with wooden walls and bar, dark red couches, pool tables with low lights. Very classy and relaxed. I went with Jess and we got just a tad lost.
-Dad had to pick me up :(

-Driving
-Andy off youtubes brithday-AMAZING location! in a hotel with centerpoint tower's top part in line with the room (level 77)
YAY

And maybe Subar tonight. Although thats a tad sleeezy.

i think it's kind of stupid

2009-11-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

Yeh...had to delete this post..

It's a Sunday!!

2009-11-14T16:04:00.000-08:00

A couple of nights ago, i received an email from this guy i met while on my exchange.

I met him really early in Seattle, and i thought he was going to be a really great friend. We hung out heaps, got on really well, he came to some of my classes and i just generally thought he was a cool guy. Then i found out he really liked me. We met up for lunch and talked it through for 2 hours, and i just told him i didn't feel the same way and there was someone back home i was still confused about.

I thought, well, we could still be friends...but he kind of made everything feel awkward between us, and i suppose i didn't help. So, i didn't hang out with him unless it was in a group setting for the rest of exchange.

Which brings me to the email. He said he had been reading his blog/diary thing and he wanted to apologise about how he behaved on exchange, and then he asked me a few generic questions about Sydney.

I don't know what the point of this entry is. I guess just to say i wish we had sorted it out while we were still over there, because he was a really funny guy! Who knows, it might still have been awkward. :(

not a lot

2009-11-13T02:04:00.000-08:00

Not too much to update this blog on. I've finished by History unit and now have two exams in a weeks time. I have a test on Autism at the moment, and, although i'm meant to be meeting up with many people, i keep postponing it all! Woe is me. I think my current attitude may have something to do with watching the move, Prozac Nation. Quite depressing, and made me feel all teenage angsty about everything. Then i partially snapped out of it and realised how lucky i am.

How teenagery of me.

Vortex

2009-11-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

Currently i feel as if i am residing in this kind of time tunnel, as if i just crawled in a week ago, and i know i'll be crawling out of it come december the first.

I know pretty much exactly how the next few weeks are going to pan out. I've lately (that being the past year) being trying to be very social. However, i get sucked into these vortex for a week or so every now and then where i do nothing but procrastinate from school work. However this one is lasting about a month. Due to the fact that, like i said before, i know that i have exams and assignments peppered through out the month. Not to mention starting my job, doing a practical exam on working with kids with Autism and doing a theory St Johns Ambulance test. Among other things. My life is literally on hold. And so are my emotions. Normally, i am nostalgic, blogging, reflecting on my life and where i'm going, and assessing the minute differences between who is in the catagory of a good friend or a great friend. While i have been in my vortex, however, all that is on hold. I don't let me self think about any of it other then thinking that some people need to realise they can't have their cake and eat it too, and that i can meet and become more social in december.

I guess i know that if i start thinking about something, or anything really then school and tests, that i'll be letting myself down. Even writing this blog is making me anxious even though i know i would be doing some other form of procrastination if i wasn't writing it now. I want to get decent grades, i want to pass st Johns and autism testing, i want to be a good employee. And i can't do any of that if i start dreaming about things that i can't change or work on until december.

So for now, i will procrastinate a bit more, do some of my history assignment, and keep my head full of learning for the month ahead.

Fast Approaching

2009-11-04T23:51:00.000-08:00

Summer is fast approaching. I mean, it might be summer right now but i'm kind of sure it's not till december. I can feel the anticipation of summer in the air, the beaches and christmas parties, family lunches and cocktail dresses. New people and new friendships; laughter and tears.

I'm kind of feel amazing at the moment. I rarely say that, just because i'm normally analysing everything i do.. For once i feel right about what ive do this week, standing up for myself. Sorry, im not going to go into it, and yes, that is going to be one of those ambiguous statements :( Just because the person might read this.

I have a St Johns test on monday and i have no idea where the book is to study for it!!

I had a skype chat with my friend Damian last night, it was funny, except for the unfortunate arrival of my headache halfway through due to not eating on exactly the right moment. Alas we have come to the conclusion that it sucks that we can't hang out anymore. He lives in Seattle, and i in Sydney-Town!

Today i had my last history lectures and tutorials, and my last African Politics tutorial. Unfortunately in both i actually meet some cool people. Nice timing, the last day of class and all. Such is life.

I best be off to listen to the 6 hours of psychology lectures i've missed out on for the last 3 weeks!

B
xx
p.s I LOVE THE GOOGLE ARTWORK TODAY! THE COOKIE MONSTER, REALLY? REALLY??

The Morning After....Halloween, of course!

2009-10-31T16:47:00.000-07:00

Today is November the 1st, which meant that Halloween was last night! I was lucky in that i had quite a few options. There was a swedish party in Bondi, a couple of house parties and two groups going to the city. I opted for going to Kings Cross...and felt slightly slutty. Come on, it WAS Halloween. I was dressed in this LBD and devil horns...i guess i was asking for it.

After meeting Sophie, her friend Sophie and Kevin, Lou and Lauren we headed up to the train station, the latter with drinks in hand. Up on the platform we bumped into all these groups of people, so there ended up been a group of 20 of us in various Halloween outfits. Jess requires an honourable mention, she dressed up in a maid outfit with blood all over it, it almost looked real! After standing around making awkward conversation for a while we entered the train, and Lou exclaimed that the pumpkin bag that this girl had was ''ADORABLLLE''. She then gave it to Lou, along with the unknown alcoholic substance in it which Lou drank. Facepalm. Don't drink it if you don't know what it is. Before we got off at Kings Cross, she gave Lou the pumpkin which Lou said was nice of her, but she probably only did it to avoid the police, who swarm around.

After emptying our scarily full bladders we went to SOHO, and somehow managed to get in even though we werent on the guestlist....funny :) It was PACKED! everyone was dressed up. I talked to this guy who was trapped by this 50yr old kuger, i danced, i ran around (as best i could in heels and with no room), took photos with the pumpkin and generally had a good time.

Lou, Brendan and I left and preceeded to go home :)

B
xx

The Best Time to be in Australia

2009-10-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

I really think that October, through to December is definitely the best time to be in Australia. In October, everyone is planning there summer holidays and there is the sense that christmas is approaching. Lots of my friends have birthdays this month, as well as my sister and three cousins, and of course, there is Halloween! (of which, upon wished several older people in the population a happy Halloween, they grimaced replying that they don't ''celebrate that junk''-they just don't have any parties to go to :P).

Around November assignments and exams start taking over, peppered by the ocassionally party. For the most party people are really buckled down. Hence, December comes really quickly! With it, it brings all the end of year parties, summer parties, weekend holidays, beach trips, laughter, lazy lazy days and movie nights. In the day you might also have a summer job. When you reach mid december the Christmas shopping starts, christmas cards get sent out, there is christmas eve, eve parties, christmas eve parties, christmas night parties, boxing day movies/beach days, family gatherings. Then at the end of the month is partying with all the exchange students and getting ready for new years!!

Did i mention through all of this the weather is amazing; you don't even need a jacket when you go out at night! I love Australia. And i love my friends. Friend's are the currency of your life, and, in the end, you can't buy or make old friends. Appreciate everyone, you can learn from them all!

B
xx

I was ill

2009-10-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Once again. I was ill.

Yesterday was...well, up there with the worst illness ive had. It started after class, where i just couldn't see a little bit out of my right eye. That then progressed to the stage where i was texting my bestfriend to tell her i wasn't going to be in class that day. I was looking at the screen, and i couldn't even see my hand which was holding the phone! I was sitting there justing going ''shit'', because this then ALWAYS leads to a miagraine. At that moment it was just a tension in both cheekbones, but sure enough, after i got home i was...throwing up. I normally only throw up once, so afterwards i wandered downstairs and ate something, flicked on the TV and...OH NO. Weak stomach alert/painful eyelid alert/going to spew again alert. I actually crawled, yes, crawled to the bathroom, at snails pace with my head down low. And threw up for on and off for the next five hours. What a joyous afternoon that was.

The thing is, it's so boring when it happens, but you can't do anything because it hurts too much!! Anyway i have to get back to work then catch a bus to meet a friend i haven't see in a month or so, so ciao

B
xx

Spitters

2009-10-26T01:16:00.000-07:00

I hate people who spit. I find it's the most disgusting noise/action combination ever! Seriously.

Now thats out of the way, on to my weekend. On Saturday, i had one of those days where you feel so ''is this really my life?'' days. Not in a depressive way, but just...a kind of flat way. So eloquent. I went to a family lunch for my cousins 17th. The house and garden looked lovely as normal, and as per usual, the weather in Sydney changed from a forecasted rainy day to so hot that my back went red! I munched on some sausages and lollies, and tried to avoid my uncle in case in asked for the camera i borrowed back. I know, how naughty of me. I felt like there was this giant camera-shaped elephant between us whenever i saw him, which of course, i imagined. He is too nice for anything like that.

We then left and journeyed back home, and then went to our Swiss neighbours 40th. I FINALLY got to meet the kids properly, but sadly for me their accents where now australian! What a problem! Do they not realise how cute Swiss-German accents are?? We watched a bit of a Bee Movie, with all these German little boys, who yelled and screamed an giggled. Little kids laughing is seriously the happiest sound in the world.

Sunday was my little Sister's (i use this term loosely, she is bigger then me in every aspect of the word; most people think she is the big sister and exclaim ''I didn't know you had a little sister!'' when they set eyes on me) Birthday. She dashed over to Manly to go surfing while i braced the library and then shops to find her a gift in the torrential downpour. It was eventually found (a silk pink shirt, and lollies, if you must know), and my family and i headed home.

Which brings us to Monday. Today...well. I went to my Dad's office to do work for him and felt incredibly sad halfway through the day, so much so that i inexplicably had ''something in my eye'' for most of the day. I don't know, either. I then travelled home and here i am. Avoiding my 3000 word looming assignment on Mozambique.

B
xx

A quick one

2009-10-22T05:46:00.000-07:00

Helllllo. Well it's been a few days! So much has happened :)

Yesterday i went for an interview with a lady i had never met. The job was to help aid her Son who has Autism...I sounds like really hard work and something that you can't have an off teaching day in, but at the same time i am soooo looking forward to working for her. I know this sounds chessy but her enthusiasm is incredible! I am so happy to work for her (Yes i think i got the job...she pretty much said as much, unless something changed in the last 24 hours).

It was weird going to meet her, because i somehow, in beckstyle, managed to get there an hour early, and on top of that she was 15 minutes late! So i had to smile at everyone i saw, because i didn't know what she looked like!! Before the interview i decided that unlike my last interview where i dressed down, i would dress up. I wore a white dress and belt, black stockings and flats, and a black blazer. I think i looked sharp, although i had some doubts towards the end of the waiting time. I'm so glad i dressed up, because her job is working for a jewellary and handbag company which is really famous. Naturally she was stunning and had amazing style...

Then today i had class. I saw Ellen who looked as natural and gorgeous as always (this post seems to revolve around looks too much, lets stop that now). I saw Ellen who is an absolutely amazing person. There, better. After History i had African politics. Today was a really good lesson. We, well, in short learnt that people and their dignity and ambition are what breed development, and then goal should not be profit but sustainability and happiness for African people.

Wow! Just got back from a great night out with Kathleen, Nick (her bf) and Maryanne!! We went to this delicious Thai restaurant, and Maryanne was so late that she didn't come. We had the most delicious wine, it was from New Zealand and so fruity and not that sharp (Is it obvious i have no clue about wine?). Kathleen looked lovely of course!

Then we caught a taxi (i'm surprised it took us) to State Theatre from Capital Theatre. We went to see this comedian whose name im not going to try and pronounce...But he was quite funny and American (which wins big brownie points in my books). The theatre was so gorgeous. Sky high ceilings, with spiral marble staircases, chandeliers, mirrors adorned with gold leaf and deep blood red carpets.

We then went out for coffee where kathleen and I decided 20 wasn't that old, it was more the fact that things were changing, and that 30 is old.
Nick paid for everything which was so generous of him; it was nice not wondering how to get home.

Anyway, i'm dog tired, so i better go, but becky don't forget....

Sanna and Hermann!

Mundane, hmmm?

2009-10-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

It's hot. So hot that my skin keeps having waves of hot, prickly sweat run through it. Delicious. Not too much to write today. I woke up late and so i didn't get to class. I realised i will probably do more today because i didn't go to class, just because it takes so long to get there and i have a two hour break. At home i dont go anywhere and can already listen to the lectures i missed. Wonderful technology, wonderful.

I have some film i want to develop as well...Still have four photos i need to take.

I want to start Sailing again but right now it way to hectic. Still need to continue parking.

Need to stop a certain someone messaging me on fb. Sigh.

So shall i be mundane and predictable, by writing what i need to do today? Lets. (Trust me i would rather be reading about England and all the things i want to do there; since i'm legal now and have lived by myself...well this trip is going to be alot different from other family trips!).

~~Politics lecture-listen~~
~~History lecture-listen~~
~~Psychology lecture-listen~~
~~History readings and Journal~~
~~African readings~~ (all of it!)-Journal
African essay-read and know how to attempt it

Ok. Later tonight i'll cross out what i've done!!

Becky

A night out on the town

2009-10-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

Today was completely and utterly exhausting. I was searching for a piece of clothing that people could draw on at a party. The role of finding an outfit which made me look (and feel) amazing, but i didn't mind never wearing again/ruining provided too much for my frugal mind and budget. I eventually settled on an overlarge pink t-shirt, which cost 20 dollars (and of course, since it made me feel good i am now hating myself for half - destroying it!

The night started off at a friends 20th, indeed, a ''Scribble Party'', in which you draw and write naughty. naughty things on each other! Teamed with broken glow sticks, the night was off to a good night. However soon it started raining and i felt awkward ocassionally. Sausages made up for this momentary awkwardness. Emma ate 5 buns in a row!! It was insane, good to see she is a real girl. I talked to Matt who works for jonnies. Emma went on about her boy issues, and then had luke calling her up, interferring. By this stage i was thinking i reallly needed to go home. In fact i started walking home at 1.30am when the taxi of the girl who called 40 minutes after me came. I was sooo angry. However, soon realising that the distance was too great i abandoned that idea and wandered, dishearted, back to Ed's. The only other option was to sleep at Kathy's, which she offered, and was nice. However the catch was doing whatever they were doing. Which was ''partyin on'' at the kind-of local pub. On the way to catch a taxi from the highway to the pub, whilst emma and i mumbled to each other about needed to sleep (and seriously considered running back and sleeping in the car), low and behold, headlights were beaming down on us. Emmas friend Mike was there and offered us a lift to the pub, the sweetie. He was super nice, however pushed the dancing thing a tad too much. After hours upon hours of dancing we finally left the goggly eyes of sausage fest that was the pub, and we met up with charlottes friend....who...wait for it...was Will from exchange!!@!@! What a great night it turned out to be after all...i like the pub.

The next morning:
Ha well, looks like i left out some details, but that could be because it was 4.30am when i was writing that! Currently i am watching a gossip girl, and after this i suppose i should work out when assignments are due etc so i can start planning how to tackle my mountain of homework. Fuck, i have a 3000 word essay due soon! ARGH.

Oh My Gosh

2009-10-15T03:38:00.000-07:00

I think i just had one of the most terrifying thing happen to me.

My Migraine came, which comes once every few weeks. It was pretty bad. I have different types of Migraines, and this time i had one i get once a year. I had this one where i cant see out my left eye. Suddenly i felt super hot and i REALLY couldn't see out of my left eye.

All of the sudden my left arm started tingling and i started crying. Normally that means you have a stroke, and i know exactly what was happening and what goes wrong as i work for the Ambulance and do Biopsychology. The pain was getting tingling and getting worse , as if i was sitting on my hand.

Thank good it stopped but it might happen in the future. What if i was alone and not at home? I'm scared.

Three blogs in one night!?

2009-10-14T04:14:00.000-07:00

I just watched some of a french movie which depicted a lady who felt trapped in her lifestyle. I think it did it in a very clever way, by having very limited filming outside the home. You really felt trapped along side her, and that her plight is the plight of many women. It became so frustrating that i couldn't finish watching the movie.

I can't do this reading on the cold war. It is so dull my eyes are going to come out.

Back so soon? I think so.

2009-10-14T01:06:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow i have a dilemma. I have university from 9am till 4pm, and then a two hour break in which i will wait for a workshop. This glorious work shop is so that i can find out what i have learnt from going on exchange (FYI-I went on exchange to Seattle for 6 months). However i also have a party on that night, with all these Germans etc. Now my dilemma is of the cliche sort. Things on the same day after a dryspell of nothing. Except i take this to any extreme.

Ladies and Gentlemen, i have a confession. I am obsessed with meeting new people. Yes, i might not be the most outspoken or forward of people, but i get so happy from it. It's like how i get high. Some take drugs, i take new people. Most of my current friends are (very) aware of this aspect of me, since it sprung up 3 months ago. I mean its always been there but now they are...AWARE.

With any high, there are also lows. My lows come when i can't meet new people. This past week ive almost cried everyday and finally broke down two nights ago to my Mum (God i'm lucky to have her). I seriously need to meet people, and i get angry when i dont because i know they are out there and there are people like me! I feel super lonely if i am not with other people. I know this sounds stupid, but no one really gets it. Hence the vicious cycle continues so i can find someone who ''gets it'', and will hence, get me!

So i dont know whether to go to the workshop or the party. I think i will just go to the workshop. If it sucks ill head to the party (which is impossible to get to so maybe not...workshop is looking more enticing). Hopefully ill meet some cool people from my exchange, however i doubt it since only a certain kind of person really attends these things that are voluntary.

In other news i may have job lined up so i need a hair cut and blazer before the interview next wednesday! Ok night!

xx
b

Story of a Beck

2009-10-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

Wow. Well. Here we go again! I am not one of those people who has randomly decided to start a blog (nothing against those people, obviously once upon a time that was me!), but ive actually had quite a few blogs. Pretty much ive been writing and recording my thoughts whether it be in blog or journal form since 2007 :) Ive had some blogs that i have made sure that no one can link to me, and others very ...linkable (!) to moi. So i want this to be more of the daily happenings of me, and i guess some feelings. If i get too emotional though i'll probably revert back to my private blog.
Currently i am procrastinating! The sort of procrastination that evolves from knowing you could easily complete your nights work and readings if you started now...but your going to hold off till you are going to do a shitty boomba job!! Oh nice timing, dinners ready...sigh. Ok well i'll be back soon :D

xx
b